Coping with Exam Success NOT Stress

It’s that time of year again – exam season!

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, don’t worry, it’s normal to have some anxieties and a little bit of stress can be motivating, however, stressing out is not. Whether you’re currently facing exams or preparing for them, don’t stress. Read on to find out how you can beat the stress of exams and give yourself the best chance of success.

Plan and Organize

One of the main sources of exam stress is feeling unprepared. To alleviate this, plan and organize your study schedule ahead of time.  Creating a timetable of study allows you to break down your subjects or topics into manageable chunks and allocate specific time slots for each. This will help you to set achievable goals, will aid retention and help you to stay in control.

Practice Time Management to Avoid Cramming

Managing your time effectively stops procrastination which leads to unnecessary stress. Keeping to a consistent study routine will help you to stay focused, improve your productivity and allow your brain to absorb information more effectively.  Shorter bursts of focused study are more productive than cramming, although cramming may seem tempting, it’s not an effective study strategy. A good rule to follow is 20 to 30 minutes of focused study followed by a 10-minute break. Repeat.

Take Care of Your Health

Prioritize self-care during the exam period for a healthy body and mind. Make sure to eat nutritious meals with plenty of fruit and veg, get regular exercise, and have a proper sleep routine. Keep hydrated throughout the day as this helps concentration. Ensure that at the end of your study periods, you help your brain unwind by ensuring you relax.

Avoid Comparison

Comparing your progress with others can create unnecessary stress. Every individual has a unique study style and pace. Focus on your own journey and avoid getting caught up in what others are doing. It’s important to acknowledge and celebrate your own achievements. Use positive imagery, be confident, see yourself succeeding and remember your exams are a chance for you to show your learning and knowledge, they don’t define your worth, so give yourself credit for the hard work you’ve put in and maintain a positive mindset. Good luck with your exams!

Author Niki Wymark

Attachment Styles and Relationships

In the realm of psychology and interpersonal dynamics, attachment styles play a significant role in shaping the nature of our relationships. Attachment styles are patterns of behaviour and emotions that develop early in life and influence how individuals form and maintain close bonds throughout their lives. Understanding these attachment styles can offer valuable insights into our own relationship patterns and provide a foundation for fostering healthier connections with others.

In this article, we will explore the four main attachment styles, their impact on relationships, and strategies for developing secure attachments.

What are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles, as identified by psychologist John Bowlby and further developed by Mary Ainsworth, refer to the different ways individuals connect with and relate to others. These styles are influenced by our early experiences with caregivers and shape our expectations, emotions, and behaviours in relationships.

The four main attachment styles are:

Secure Attachment Style

Individuals with a secure attachment style generally have positive views of themselves and others. They are comfortable with intimacy and are able to establish and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships. Securely attached individuals tend to have supportive and responsive caregivers during their childhood, which allows them to trust and rely on others.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style

Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style crave closeness and fear rejection or abandonment. They often doubt their self-worth and seek constant reassurance from their partners. This attachment style typically develops when caregivers are inconsistent in meeting their child’s needs, leading to anxiety and uncertainty.

Avoidant-Dismissive Attachment Style

Individuals with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style tend to downplay the importance of intimacy. They value independence, and self-reliance, and may have difficulties with emotional vulnerability. This attachment style often arises from having caregivers who are emotionally unavailable or rejective, leading the individual to distance themselves from others to protect against potential rejection.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

The fearful-avoidant attachment style combines elements of both anxious-preoccupied and avoidant-dismissive styles. People with this attachment style desire close relationships but are afraid of intimacy due to past experiences of trauma or abuse. They may exhibit contradictory behaviours, alternating between seeking and avoiding closeness.

Influence of Attachment Styles on Relationships

Understanding your own attachment style, as well as that of your partner or potential partner, can significantly impact the dynamics of your relationships. Here is how each attachment style may influence romantic connections:

Secure Attachment

Style Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to have healthier and more satisfying relationships. They are comfortable with emotional intimacy and are generally effective at both giving and receiving support. They can communicate openly and honestly, creating a strong foundation of trust within the relationship.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style

Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style carry a constant fear of rejection and often seek excessive reassurance. They may become overly dependent on their partner and experience higher levels of jealousy and possessiveness. This can lead to relationship conflicts and emotional turmoil.

Avoidant-Dismissive Attachment Style

Individuals with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style often struggle with emotional intimacy and may distance themselves from their partner. They may have difficulty expressing their emotions and avoid discussing relationship concerns. Their tendency to prioritize independence can result in emotional disconnection within the relationship.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style face internal conflicts regarding intimacy, resulting in a push-pull dynamic within relationships. They may yearn for closeness but fear vulnerability and the potential for pain. This can lead to difficulties in establishing and maintaining long-lasting and satisfying relationships.

Developing a Secure Attachment

Although attachment styles are established early in life, they are not set in stone. With self-awareness, effort, and therapeutic intervention if needed, individuals can develop a more secure attachment style. Here are some strategies to cultivate secure attachments:

Reflect on Your Childhood Experiences

Take time to reflect on your experiences with caregivers in your early life. Recognize the impact these experiences may have had on your attachment style. Journaling or seeking professional guidance can be helpful in gaining insights and understanding your relationship patterns.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is crucial in understanding your own feelings, needs, and fears. By identifying and acknowledging your attachment style and triggers, you can begin to consciously respond to situations rather than reacting based on past patterns.

Communication Skills

Effective communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Practice open and honest communication with your partner or potential partner. Express your needs, concerns, and feelings in a respectful and non-confrontational manner. Active listening and empathy play a crucial role in building trust and understanding.

Counselling can help

If you find it challenging to develop a secure attachment style on your own, seeking therapy can be beneficial. A skilled therapist can guide you through self-exploration, help you heal from past traumas, and provide tools and techniques to develop healthier relationship patterns.

Attachment styles and relationships are closely intertwined, shaping the quality and dynamics of our connections with others. By understanding our own attachment style and working towards developing a secure attachment, we can foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Remember that attachment styles are not fixed, and self-awareness, communication, and self-reflection are powerful tools for creating lasting and secure attachments with partners and loved ones. So, whether you are hoping to deepen an existing relationship or build a new one, exploring and understanding attachment styles is a valuable journey toward cultivating healthier and more gratifying connections.

If you would like to find out more or feel counselling might be helpful for you, you can contact us via our contact page.

Men’s Mental Health: Breaking the Stigma and Seeking Support

Introduction

In today’s society, conversations around mental health have become more open and accepted. However, unfortunately, there still remains a stigma, especially when it comes to men’s mental health. This stigma can prevent men from seeking the help and support they need. In this article, we aim to explore the importance of men’s mental health, debunk common misconceptions, and provide practical tips for men to prioritize their mental well-being.

Understanding the Stigma

The Traditional Notions of Masculinity

For generations, men have been conditioned to adhere to traditional notions of masculinity. This often entails suppressing emotions, showing strength at all times, and not asking for help. Unfortunately, these societal expectations can be detrimental to men’s mental health, as they might feel unable to express their struggles for fear of appearing or indeed feeling weak or vulnerable.

The Negative Stereotypes

Stereotypes surrounding mental health further contribute to the stigma men face.

Depicting mental health challenges as a sign of weakness or instability only perpetuates the misconception that seeking support is unmanly. However, it is crucial to understand that mental health issues can affect anyone, regardless of gender, and seeking help is a strength, not a weakness.

The Importance of Men’s Mental Health

Higher Rates of Suicide

Men are statistically more likely to die by suicide than women. The stigma surrounding mental health can discourage men from seeking support, leading to feelings of isolation and despair. Raising awareness about men’s mental health and encouraging open conversations can help reduce these distressing statistics.

Impact on Relationships

Neglecting mental health can also negatively impact personal relationships.

Untreated mental health issues may lead to strained communication, emotional withdrawal, and difficulty forming and maintaining healthy connections. Prioritizing mental well-being can lead to more fulfilling relationships with partners, friends, and family.

Common Mental Health Challenges among Men

Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common mental health challenges men face. These conditions can manifest differently in men, often presenting as irritability, anger, or physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches. Recognizing these signs and addressing them promptly is crucial for maintaining mental well-being.

Substance Abuse

Men are more likely to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, to mask their emotional pain. Alcohol or drug dependency can worsen mental health symptoms and create a cycle of self-destructive behaviours. Seeking professional help for substance abuse is pivotal to reclaiming one’s mental health.

Breaking the Stigma: Practical Steps for Men

Developing Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence involves recognizing and managing one’s emotions effectively. By developing emotional intelligence, men can build healthier coping mechanisms and navigate challenging situations with resilience. Engaging in self-reflection, practising mindfulness, and seeking therapy can all contribute to developing emotional intelligence.

Building a Supportive Network

Surrounding oneself with a supportive network is essential for men’s mental health. This may include friends, family members, or professional support groups. Opening up to trusted individuals about mental health concerns can alleviate feelings of isolation and serve as a reminder that seeking support is an important and brave choice.

Seeking Professional Help

When it comes to mental health, seeking professional help is crucial. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counsellors, provide a safe space for men to explore their emotions, develop coping strategies, and work towards mental well-being. Taking this step does not indicate weakness, but rather a commitment to self-improvement and personal growth.

Breaking the Stigma: Encouraging Change in Society

Promoting Education and Awareness

Education is paramount in dispelling myths and misconceptions surrounding men’s mental health. By promoting awareness campaigns, workshops, and discussions, we can challenge societal norms, break down stigmas, and encourage open conversations about mental health.

Providing Accessible Resources

Ensuring accessible resources for men’s mental health is key. Online therapy, helplines, and community support groups can offer anonymity and convenience to those seeking support. Investing in mental health initiatives that specifically target men can create a safe and inclusive environment for seeking help.

Conclusion

Men’s mental health is a topic that deserves our attention and advocacy. By breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, men can feel empowered to prioritize their well-being and seek support when needed. Let us work together to foster a society that values men’s mental health, creates a safe space for open dialogue, and supports all individuals in their journey toward mental well-being.

Image via Pexels

Life’s Rollercoaster: Practical Tips for Riding the Highs and Lows

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. These major life changes, whether positive or negative, can often feel overwhelming and challenging to navigate. However, with the right strategies, you can effectively manage these transitions and come out stronger on the other side. From Humansense, here are some practical tips to help you adapt and thrive during these pivotal moments in your life.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

In the face of significant change, stress and anxiety are natural responses. Practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help you maintain calmness and clarity of mind. Regular practice of these techniques can equip you with the inner peace needed to manage your emotions and make sound decisions.

Focus on the Positive

Change can be daunting, but it’s crucial to focus on the positive aspects it may bring. Embrace the possibilities of new experiences, growth, and learning opportunities that lie ahead. This optimistic mindset will enable you to see change as an exciting adventure rather than a fearful unknown.

Set Achievable Goals

Setting small, achievable goals can give you a sense of control and direction amidst the chaos of change. These goals can act as stepping stones that guide you towards adapting to the new circumstances. Remember, every small success brings you one step closer to your ultimate objective.

Digitise Important Documents

During times of major life changes, it’s essential to keep your important documents organized and easily accessible. Here’s a possible solution — digitizing these documents into PDFs. This method can help achieve this crucial organization. Plus, you can easily rotate PDF pages to portrait or landscape mode depending on your viewing preference. By embracing this digital organization, you can save time and alleviate stress when quick access to critical information is needed.

Develop Outlets for Relieving Stress

Having outlets for stress relief is crucial when navigating life changes. This could be anything from physical exercise, like jogging or dancing, to creative pursuits, such as painting or writing. Engaging in these activities not only provides a distraction from the challenges at hand but also releases endorphins that can boost your mood and outlook.

Stay Open-Minded

Adaptability is key during life transitions. Staying open-minded allows you to embrace change instead of resisting it, which can greatly ease the transition process. This flexibility can lead to unexpected opportunities and enriching experiences that you might have otherwise missed, enhancing your personal growth and broadening your horizons.

Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to seek support during challenging times, whether it’s from friends, family, or professional counsellors like Niki and Dom of Humansense. Sharing your feelings and experiences with someone else can provide relief and valuable insights, helping you gain a fresh perspective on the situation. Remember, you don’t have to navigate these changes alone; there are always people around you who are ready and willing to lend a hand or a listening ear.

Navigating major life changes can seem like a daunting task. However, by implementing these strategies, you can manage these transitions with confidence and resilience. Develop relaxation techniques, focus on the positive, set achievable goals, digitize important documents, develop outlets for stress relief, stay open-minded, and seek support. With these tools at your disposal, you’re well-equipped to handle the ebb and flow of life’s remarkable journey.

Guest writer. Phillip Carr youryearlycheckup.com

The Benefits  of Art and Music Therapy
for Those in Recovery

As someone in recovery, your sobriety journey is intensely personal. To be sure, even though you are probably doing the same thing that others are in their recovery — eating healthy, exercising, avoiding trigger spots and people, and attending meetings — the additional decisions you make as you choose to stay sober are exclusively yours. So, why not add some joy to your recovery and use art and music as therapeutic tools?

Even if you’re not sure which side of a paintbrush to hold or you know you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, learning how to play a musical instrument or sing, or how to draw, paint, or even sculpt can add a joyful dimension to your sobriety and yourself. What’s more, you can, instead, choose to learn about art and music and deepen your appreciation of the arts.

Here, Online Therapy and Coaching provides guidance on finding your artistic outlet.

How It Works

People on the path to sobriety often relapse when they feel stress or anxiety, which most often happens when they feel a loss of control. Writing at Psychology Today, Dr. Elliot D. Cohen refers to it as our “demand for certainty in a world that is tentative and uncertain.”

Normally, hobbies are a great way to relieve the twin conditions of stress and anxiety, namely because they can help us feel in control, and just their very practice helps reduce heart rate and blood pressure and increase happiness. Hobbies get the mind and hands focused on a single task, whether it’s knitting a scarf or running a model railroad. They can also help us stay productive, build confidence, and connect us with productive, drug-free people who pursue the same hobbies. And because they can reduce stress, they can reduce the possibility of relapse.

Why Art or Music?

Like other hobbies, art and music can definitely be therapeutic. Additionally, they can also be creative outlets for building self-confidence, expressing feelings, establishing connections with others, and bringing joy. What makes them a little extra special is that they both can be forms of communication.

Art involves communication with imagery, whether it’s a painting or a sketch. Through it, you can communicate anger or peace, chaos, or control. Music, meanwhile, is communication with a sound other than the spoken word, and it, too, can reflect feelings of distress or calm. With art, you’re not just limited to watercolors on a canvas. You can learn to use charcoal, colored pencils, oil paints, textures, or you can learn photography. Likewise, with music, you don’t have to learn an instrument; you can also take voice lessons.

Even if you don’t feel you have the coordination to make art or feel you have the ear to make music, you can learn to appreciate and study both of them instead. Consider taking an art or music appreciation class, attend art exhibits, and attend symphonies or an opera. You can also spend some time on the internet and find a type of art or music that interests you, then find out everything you can about it. Either way, you don’t have to reduce your joy just because you are choosing to experience something instead of creating it.

Bob Ross, the late painting instructor, said that “every day’s a good day when you paint.” He also said that painting can bring a lot of “good thoughts to your heart.” But it really doesn’t matter if you’re painting, drawing, sculpting, making clay pots, playing an instrument, or singing from the top of your lungs. Learning art and music can add a dimension of joy to your sobriety. They can all bring good thoughts to your heart.

Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

Guest article by Lydia Chan from alzheimerscaregiver.net

Positive Intentions

Not already signed and want more weekly wisdoms?  It’s Free. Just subscribe to our blog at Humansense.online. Remember to check your email to confirm your subscription as well as the pesky spam folder so you don’t miss out!!

Living in the age of Covid – Create a Covid Mindset

When the Corona virus pandemic hit in January 2020 who would have thought that at the start of  2021 many of us across the globe would still be living life in lock down or under curfew.  Christmas 2020 will certainly be one to remember. It will become part of our World history. Its time to create a Covid mindset.

For many, 2020 was the year families and friends faced forced separation through social distancing rules. Families  dealt with the first Christmas without loved ones who have died from the disease.  As of time of writing there are  over 1.85 million plus Covid deaths worldwide (www.worldometers.info).  Businesses have been forced to close impacting on people’s livelyhoods, with many not opening again.  Work and education has been affected and people are feeling isolated and lonely.  Look anywhere and you will see the impact of the Covid pandemic. The changes have been massive, affecting us all in someway or another.

 Change and Loss

Change and loss are part of life. However, it’s safe to say that 2020 has resulted in an unprecedented amount of change and loss for millions across the globe.   Typically, the changes have been unwelcome, significant, anxiety provoking and for many traumatic.  These types of changes make us question ourselves and the world as well as causing fear and anxiety because we are living with huge amounts of uncertainty.

We all experience change differently but there have been shared common themes at some point this year –  curtailment of our day to day freedoms, not being able to mix with our family or friends, work and financial changes, travel and the  education of our children and young people to name a few.

External v Internal locus of control

A theory developed by Rotter (1954) examines how a person’s Locus of Control influences their belief in the amount of control they have over their lives.  An internal locus is the belief that a individual has control over their own lives whereas an external locus is the belief that life is controlled by outside factors in which they have no influence.

Self efficacy, a person’s level of self confidence is closely related to how we view our own locus of control. This is found to be closely related to how we deal with stressors we face in our day to day lives. Some research findings suggest that people with a higher external locus and a lower self efficacy are more likely to experience higher levels of stress and be more vulnerable to external influences.

Covid Fatigue

The Covid pandemic has influenced the global locus of control. There are external factors we have no control over and cannot do anything about.

Media bombards us daily with Covid updates, infection rates, death rates, restrictions, what we can and can’t do from one day to the next. It can feel confusing, anxiety provoking and frustrating! No wonder we are fed up, disillusioned and tired.  How long will this go on for? When will it end? Will we ever get back to normal? Our lives for the last 12 months have radically changed and it is set to continue for 2021 whether we like it or not.

Create a Covid mindset to improve mental well-being

Presently there are some external factors we cannot change. However,  what we do have control over is how we react and respond to those external factors. How we think influences how we feel and together these influence our behaviour.

Break the Cycle – challenge your negative thoughts and feel better

If we are feeling low or depressed we might think “Its another awful day” or “What’s the point of doing something?” This makes us feel more depressed. The likely result is we end up behaving in a depressed way – not doing anything or withdrawing. The bottom line is that this negative thinking just increases the feelings of low mood and becomes a vicious cycle of depression or anxiety.

When we are experiencing stress or anxiety we may be more prone to unhelpful patterns of thinking (automatic negative thinking) and these are unconscious. Identifying our own automatic negative thoughts is a good start in helping to break the negative cycles of thinking that cause us distress. Have a look at some of the unhelpful thinking styles below which we can all be prone too.

Mental filtering.  This thinking style involves a filtering in and filtering out process – a sort of tunnel vision, focusing on only one part of a situation and ignoring the rest.

Judgements.  Making evaluations or judgements about events, ourselves, others, or the world, rather than describing what we actually see and have evidence for.

Emotional Reasoning. I feel bad so it must be bad! I feel anxious, so I must be in danger.

Critical self.  Putting ourselves down, self criticism, blaming ourselves for events or situations that are not our responsibility

Should’s, ought’s & must statements.  Reflect our (often unreasonable) standards (“I should do this”, “I must do that”) and frequently lead to feelings of frustration, shame, or guilt.

When life gives you lemons……….

You’ve heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Covid has and continues to throw buckets of lemons!  We can either let them go to waste or start making lemonade!

Self care – Small steps create big changes

It all starts with the self. When we want to change our mindset we have to work on ourselves and that can feel hard if we are in a rut.  The key is to take small, consistent steps in making positive changes. That way you are more likely to see achievements quickly that will motivate you to keep going.

Steps could include, getting out for a regular walk and fresh air, eating breakfast daily or not skipping meals and creating good sleep patterns. These are all basic needs but often get forgotten when we are stressed or anxious.  Regular relaxation or “time out” is crucial for our mental well-being.  There are lots of apps and a growing number of online groups offerring a variety of relaxation experiences, Yoga, meditation and mindfulness that you can take part in.

Keep Communicating

We are social animals. Contact with others is important for our overall well-being, especially if we live on our own. Communicate with friends and family on a regular basis – via Zoom, Skype, phone and text (social distancing applies).  Hold a Zoom coffee club with friends, join a online forum or organize a virtual quiz night. There are more support groups being offered online so check out your local area or national organisations such as MIND or NHS online for more information.

 Growth and Opportunity in the face of adversity 

There’s no doubt we are living in a difficult and unpleasant situation. When faced with adversity we need to dig deep and find our our inner resiliance. Of course this is easier to say than to do but the goal is to make the best of the situation we are in.  What can we learn from our experiences? What can we learn about ourselves? How can we utlize the opportunties that might be created amidst the changing situation?

All change is an opportunity for growth. What we are experiencing is something new, how we think about the challenges we face will define how we respond to them. So how can we respond to adversity? Being mentally prepared, taking stock of what you have been through, having a purpose and maintaining a sense of humour are key aspects in nurturing a health prespective.

So what are some of the things we can do help ourselves?

Cover the basics – eat, sleep and exercise.

Routine – find yourself a routine – this helps to create structure and familiarity and provides a sense of purpose

Don’t be hard on yourself – don’t forget this situation is new to everyone, there will be ups and downs and that is normal in difficult situations. Nurture yourself in the lows and revel in the highs.

Communicate – keep in touch with others. Reach out if you are feeling isolated or alone.

Take time to reflect – while the world is hold take the time to pause and reflect.  What opportunities can you create? Learn the langauge you have aways wanted too?, Learn a new hobby or skill?, change the way you work?, read those books you never got round too? or maybe you can just take some time you have never allowed yourself too. Now is the opportunity to do so.

Follow a healthy mind platter – a bit like the “5 a day” the Healthy Mind Platter created by Dr Dan Siegel outlines 7 essential daily activties that can help to optimize matter matter and create well-being.

A final thought. We may feel frustrated, anxious or scared. Its understandable and normal given the situation.  Take care of yourselves but remember others where you can.  I love this quote, I don’t know who the author of it is but I think it is particularly relevant.

“Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

Niki

We would like to offer a FREE  informal Covid Support group if there is enough demand. To register your interest please fill out the contact form here

If you have found this article helpful please like and share to help others. Thanks!